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[27 Sep 2004|10:15pm] |
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wow its been awhile since i have been on this site, im fukin bored though. today i started working. on my mind right now is my life i guess i could say a big part of my life i feel is missing an has been. things were supposed to get better or thats wat i was told. all in all they do get easier, but every day i feel less and less of myself. how to say this..... simply i feel lost an need to be found or find someone im not sure, im not sure if i can. wats gone from my life is irreplaceable an is the only thing i feel that can make me who i once was again. yea bein friends is alright an makes it a lil eaiser but actually it fuking sucks. have u ever had an held someone so dear to you were u feel they were a part of u, u know everyintg about that person an they know everytying about u, then right in front of u in no time at all, they are wondering in a different direction, with somebody who pretty much just came along an stole that person from u. well i feel that feeling every day. i feel robbed ,betrayed, an soo on every day. and imagine wat its like to talk 2 that person but in such a lmited way that its fake. the words, the feelings, the conversation the energey an the vibe is all fake, because of the person whoe stole that very vital part of you, whoe stole that one true thing that made u feel apperciated an worth of somthing, that person who stole the one you loved.loves.(s.m.)-fuck you- its like a feeling of somthing so great that is yours an makes u who u are. but then that feeling isnt in any way it was or used to be. its blocked from u like a stranger who pretends your presence is just energey. yea all in all its very complicated wats in my head . hatred,anger,sadness,confusion,love, ect. there all just feelings in your lil round scull that affect your life, lol very weird
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